Lonely
The shifting has affected us in more ways than I care to admit. Lil P was very excited about the move and the play area and stuff when we initially moved here. But for the past week or so she has become extremely clingy.. She wants to stay indoors all the time .. Every morning is a struggle to get her ready and send her off to school. I feel awful to put a crying n weepy Lil P onto the bus and watching her sad face first thing in the morning. Breaks my heart.. I realize, she misses her friends from the old apartment and her bus mates. I miss my neighbor Radhika, who’s kids would either be in my house or Lil p in theirs.
Its getting harder n harder coming back to an empty house. I hardly see my husband these days. We don’t have a single meal together.. n hes gone by the time Lil P catches her school bus and comes back after I’ve fallen asleep .. mostly. I hate to eat alone. Meal times were always family times when I was growing up. The TV was switched off and dad , mom, me n my sis were always at the table for breakfast and dinner.
Here he is “tired” so needs to watch the TV and dinner time is the only time he gets to do that.. So its me left alone… with Lil p watching TV in the living room.. n her dad in the Guest room.
How do u enforce a rule in the house if one of the parent refuses to abide by it!
Hubby’s coming home late is getting me really frustrated.. once its office, once its projects.. and once its because he needs a break.. or he HAS to meet his friends. The whole unpredictability of it all has me fuming.. The day I think, I don’t want to eat alone, I’ll wait for him.. he decides to have dinner outside.
Why don’t I make friends or go meet some1 ??
and who’s house do I go to at 7.30 Pm on a working day?? Most of the ladies would have their husbands home by then.. and would be busy. Lil P refuses to sleep till its 11. She sleeps in the afternoon at the day care. I know a few of you (without children) might say, why don’t you read a book, or paint.. But imagine having a 4 year old who has not seen u the whole day. She wants your whole attention.. and since there is no one else around, it has to be MOM. Mumma, don’t touch your laptop, mumma don’t watch TV, mumma, this, mumma that. It is emotionally draining. Its not like I don’t like to spend time with her. But I need space too.
On weekends he has his classes. and everybody I can spend time with stays really far away.. with a 4 year old its not as easy as it was going out with a baby. I can’t strap her in a stroller.. she wants to do the things that interest her. Shes either hungry / sleepy/ or her legs pain while I’m shopping.. and once she has bought her stuff Shes again either hungry / sleepy/ or her legs pain.
At the end of a work day, It would be nice to come back home and some1 says.. here.. sit down for a while. I’ll make some tea. So how was ur day?
——— Had to get this out of my system. ——————–
PS: I’ve decided to get my maid to help out in the evenings too. She will be coming for 2 hrs from 7 – 9 Pm on a weekday to help me out with Lil P . My MIL has also offered to come and stay with us for a while. *Touchwood*
Really true. Ur words touches my heart dear.
Hugs
Sudha
sudha-kalra.blogspot.com
Oh dear….my hugs to u and little P. 🙂 I totally understand this scene….I just went through it, when I shifted to Chennai. But after a year, it just seems ok to us. But since u have moved to ur own home, its time to make acquaintances forcibly. Just peeping in to say hello to neighbors and if she too is alone, u have company.
Its stressful, I agree….but we need to think out of the box.
We used to have apartment get-togethers – a means to meet others.
But still when I put up my notice on “I sell cakes” – I got a lot of ppl meeting me and making frnds.
So, u too start some class for 1 hr during weekends for the little ones in ur apartment, and see the response….the little one too will make frnds.
My best wishes to you and your family, to make this home of yours more happy and less stressful and also wishing u a lot of family time together. 🙂 Hugs. 🙂
first up big tight hugs
I understand what u are saying and I think u deserve ur break… we all love our kids but at the same time we need our breaks from them its imp and so needed to keep calm and sane… Have u tried sitting down with the hubby and talking to him about it. Understandable that he has classes in the weekends so he has to start taking over a bit of responsibility in the weekdays. u work too and get tired, dont be offensive with him but try and explain ur point of view…
I think one meal a day as a family together is imp too try and convince him on that… most of all try and convince him of the fact that u need a break too… and he has to help u out in that
PS: we are not far from ur house and u are most welcome to drop in anytime during the weekend… it’ll be a good idea to let LilP and ojas play while we chat 😀 how abt tmrw?
True dear..warm hugs …take care
Aww total sympathies. I know exactly what it’s like. Went through it last year when we shifted to Pune. Why don’t you invite some of the women of your building with their kids? A small tea-party kind of a thing. Maybe you’ll end up making friends. Take care.
Wait..did you just visit my house and decide to write this…this is so true in my case also..yes I have been in the same flat for over 2 years now..but there is no one I can really talk to..becuase I am the only *Working mom* here who leaves her child ALONE at the daycare..so other ladies may not find it easy to talk to me..and yes yes yes..what you say about hubby is so true..TV and dinner..gets on to my nerves at times seriously!
so why did I write all this..just to let you know..you are not the only one in this 🙁 Does that make you feel better..nah! am sure it doesnt..but writing this sure has made me feel better..thank u very much
I hear ya. WE’re all in the same boat lady. And sometimes, shifting house has nothing to do with it 😉
I’m apparently the only working mom in the building who also takes her kid down to the park. So the SAHM dont quite approve of me. I’m not gossipy enuf 😉 And the other working moms, well, just dont have time.
Hubby’s routine is unpredictable. Meaning he doesnt have one.
And where do I take a 2 year old to socialise? I mean, not everyone enjoys a conversation or a meal that’s interrupted every 20 seconds by an enthu 2 yr old, right. One or 2 times later, they just start avoiding you. Plus with BLR traffic and a 2 yo who refuses to sit still for more than 5 seconds, driving around town on your own (with said 2 yo) can be er, quite a daunting adventure in itself.
Ok.. now my comment is growing longer than your post 😉 but u get the drift, you’re not alone lady 🙂
btw, where’s ur new house? How about we meet up oer the weekend?
Hugs Shruti ..
I can so understand what you’re going through…
And LilP being clingy.. i know exactly..coz Ammu’s been clingy too for various reasone..she still is ..though its more manageable now that she’s grown up!!
This too shall pass..so cheer up 🙂 and take care 🙂
Hi
I can totally understand, I am stranded with 2 kids under the age of 5, and the ever absent husband.Had been reading ur blog for quite sometime.
Hi
I am in the same boast, I am stranded with 2 kids under the age of 5, and the ever absent husband. I just think such situations make one realize how strong a woman is.
HUGS Shru!!!! 🙁
@Sudha : Thank you.
@Uma: Yes, I just need to take some effort and have Apartment Craft session. Thank you
@Monika: Thank you. n big hugs. 🙂 Will take up the offer soon 🙂
@Shama: Thank you. Was really down that day.
@Obsessive mom: ya! i have to do something.
@R’s mom: I rarely get to meet any stay at home moms cos I reach home at 7.30 when all of them are inside! 🙂 and u know what? All your comments did really make me feel better. So thank you
@Richa: I Know!!!!!! We should meet up. I stay in the same area just 2 streets down.
@Priya: Atleast you have ur sis nearby and adi and ur dad. 🙂 I’m already feeling much better. Thank you.
@Musica: 🙂 welcome here.. I hear you. Hugss. Do keep commenting often.
Awww Shruti…I can totally understand how you are feeling. I live in an independent house and it does get difficult to keep my 2 something daughter entertained. If this helps – planning to enroll her in Hippocampus so her evenings are sorted, and for the weekends, have signed her up for toddler swimming classes. Let me know if you are interested. Also, if you are planning for the weekend craft sessions, please count me in 🙂
I understnd truly ..have been in same situation some time back. Good that you did write it out. Lots of hugs