Lonely
The shifting has affected us in more ways than I care to admit. Lil P was very excited about the move and the play area and stuff when we initially moved here. But for the past week or so she has become extremely clingy.. She wants to stay indoors all the time .. Every morning is a struggle to get her ready and send her off to school. I feel awful to put a crying n weepy Lil P onto the bus and watching her sad face first thing in the morning. Breaks my heart.. I realize, she misses her friends from the old apartment and her bus mates. I miss my neighbor Radhika, who’s kids would either be in my house or Lil p in theirs.
Its getting harder n harder coming back to an empty house. I hardly see my husband these days. We don’t have a single meal together.. n hes gone by the time Lil P catches her school bus and comes back after I’ve fallen asleep .. mostly. I hate to eat alone. Meal times were always family times when I was growing up. The TV was switched off and dad , mom, me n my sis were always at the table for breakfast and dinner.
Here he is “tired” so needs to watch the TV and dinner time is the only time he gets to do that.. So its me left alone… with Lil p watching TV in the living room.. n her dad in the Guest room.
How do u enforce a rule in the house if one of the parent refuses to abide by it!
Hubby’s coming home late is getting me really frustrated.. once its office, once its projects.. and once its because he needs a break.. or he HAS to meet his friends. The whole unpredictability of it all has me fuming.. The day I think, I don’t want to eat alone, I’ll wait for him.. he decides to have dinner outside.
Why don’t I make friends or go meet some1 ??
and who’s house do I go to at 7.30 Pm on a working day?? Most of the ladies would have their husbands home by then.. and would be busy. Lil P refuses to sleep till its 11. She sleeps in the afternoon at the day care. I know a few of you (without children) might say, why don’t you read a book, or paint.. But imagine having a 4 year old who has not seen u the whole day. She wants your whole attention.. and since there is no one else around, it has to be MOM. Mumma, don’t touch your laptop, mumma don’t watch TV, mumma, this, mumma that. It is emotionally draining. Its not like I don’t like to spend time with her. But I need space too.
On weekends he has his classes. and everybody I can spend time with stays really far away.. with a 4 year old its not as easy as it was going out with a baby. I can’t strap her in a stroller.. she wants to do the things that interest her. Shes either hungry / sleepy/ or her legs pain while I’m shopping.. and once she has bought her stuff Shes again either hungry / sleepy/ or her legs pain.
At the end of a work day, It would be nice to come back home and some1 says.. here.. sit down for a while. I’ll make some tea. So how was ur day?
——— Had to get this out of my system. ——————–
PS: I’ve decided to get my maid to help out in the evenings too. She will be coming for 2 hrs from 7 – 9 Pm on a weekday to help me out with Lil P . My MIL has also offered to come and stay with us for a while. *Touchwood*
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